Must A Wannabe Influencer Friend Stop Exploiting People for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?